LETTER TO MY FUTURE HUSBAND: The reply

Penseli

Dear Njoki,

Your application for a future husband has been received and noted. I am happy to inform you that I am indeed the prince charming you’ve been waiting for. But first, we need to iron out a few issues.

 Hopeless you may be, romantic you’re definitely not

Especially since you’ve threatened to damage my Mercedes and suit (1st paragraph of your letter). I’ve worked extremely hard to acquire my wealth and the last thing I want is for someone to hungrily squander it away. I will need a sworn affidavit and a certificate of good conduct to prove that you are of good moral standing.

Remember the story that was recently in the news? The one where a woman lured a church leader to a dingy lodging only for her ‘husband’ to ‘bust’ her? Yes, cases of con women are on the rise and I need to be…

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